As a child, one of my favourite playtime companions was Barbie — a doll I shared (sometimes reluctantly, I’m sure) with my sister.
I vividly recall staying up far past bedtime, lost in imaginative scenarios that stretched deep into the night. Our father eventually resorted to removing the light bulbs from the fixtures just to shut us down.
We grew up in that particular era of summer mornings that began with cartoons and wholesome fare like Little House on the Prairie. But at 10:00 a.m., the channel would shift to The Price Is Right with Bob Barker, who never missed a chance to remind us to “have your pets spayed or neutered.” Then at 11:00, we’d watch The Young and the Restless — captivated by the slow-burn drama of Nikki and Victor Newman. Nikki, the closeted alcoholic. Victor, quietly holding Nikki’s lover captive in his basement like it was perfectly reasonable behaviour.
Naturally, our Barbie sessions took a turn.
The stories grew darker, more dramatic, and — in hindsight — hilariously unhinged. The crown jewel of our collection was what I still think of as The Broken Man. Our Ken doll had suffered a tragic injury: our dog Cinnamon had chewed off his foot. Rather than retire him, we gave him a storyline. Ken became the stay-at-home dad while Barbie climbed the corporate ladder at her high-powered executive job.
Ken did not handle this well.
He developed a drinking problem. And whenever Barbie came home from a long day, Ken would slam a little brown plastic beer bottle down on the pink kitchen counter and chant, in the very specific redneck drawl we had invented for him — “Beer Beer, get me a beer!”
To this day, all I have to do is say “Beer Beer” in that accent, and my sister loses it completely.
From my heart to yours,
Xtie
The link above is for the most adorable Barbie Care Bear that inspired this trip down memory lane.
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